All mankind waits upon our decision. A whole world looks to see what we will do. We cannot fail their trust, we cannot fail to try.
I had a first-round interview with Union Pacific today in Portland. I honestly was nervous through the entire process. I got to my mom's last night and she let me drive her car down to Portland this morning; I was shaky the entire trip down. I left Steilacoom at 5:00 and arrived with enough time to scout the place out, run over to Fred Meyer for a minute, then come back and sit and worry. After a few minutes, another car pulled up and its driver did the same thing I was doing. A third and fourth car pulled in and five of us sat in our cars and looked nervous.
non est ad astra mollis e terris via
We eventually trickled into the building. The Barnes Yard in Portland actually has what looks like any university classroom.
Per audacia ad astra
I was the only candidate there for the Mechanical Operations position. The rest had business degrees and were there for a Yard manager position. I felt a little singled out.
am Ende des Spieles werden der Koenig auch der Bauer in den selben Kiste gestellt
The HR guy presented a slideshow of what the company is about. I impressed with some of my knowledge on history, President Lincoln, Promontory, the golden spike, and so on, but I was blown away by the sheer scale of what this company does. I was also blown away by the demand it has on its employees.
Being a non-agreement employee at UP means being on call 24/7, working 12-hour days outside in ALL weather conditions, and a lengthy (up to three year) training program. One practically lives in hotels during that time and is flown to and from Omaha on a weekly basis. This would mean a lot of away time from my girls, missing holidays, birthdays, and opportunities. This would require a sacrifice I'm not sure I'm ready to make.
He gave us ten minutes to make up our minds whether this is something we want to try, and gave us an opening to bow out. He figured if we don't want to live this life, there's no point in taking the four-hour testing battery. I stayed; I had nowhere else to go. My desire to spread my wings and move on from Pullman and this life outweighed my fear. I needed to talk to Naomi about this.
See, UP makes it very lucrative to put up with the hardship. A high starting salary and frequent raises are spelled out up front. The HR guy said, "you won't get rich working for Union Pacific, but I can afford to send my kid to private school." The numbers he presented along with the benefits suppressed my unease. I could pay off my truck in six months, our combined college debt in two years. I could restore my credit rating and have a sizable down payment on a house in three years.
Railroad employees pay a different kind of taxes, get their own version of Social Security, and UP invests heavily in its employees' retirements.
Better that this opportunity arises now, when Peri is tiny. The lifestyle stabilizes somewhat after five years; Peri would be six years old before Dad is home on the regular.
What I guess I'm getting at is that love really is spelled T-I-M-E. After hearing that I have a shot at this job, I started daydreaming about little Peri and I running around in the Midwest countryside, pulling her around in a sled, playing with big dogs together, spending time. Together. The notion made me so happy. I would be able to do these things, eventually, but could I do them in the time frame where it would matter most to Peri?
The testing was all right. It was all a lot of critical thinking, and self-evaluation. I was still very uneasy about the whole prospect that I briefly contemplated finishing my tests before my interview came up and quietly slip out, go out to the car, and cry a little. I finished the tests and sat out in the lunchroom with a brakeman on his lunch break. He chatted me up while he read the paper, and then my name came up. The interview went smoothly; I had intelligent and well-thought answers for all of the questions and I didn't get a bad vibe from the interviewer.
I practically ran out to the car and called Naomi, pouring out my worries about our little family and, bless her, she seemed to be all right with the scenario. She said she's all right with the hardship if it means a promising future for us. She would choose the danger. She's so wonderful that I can't tell her enough.
I feel confident in my self-representation today. I feel confident in my testing (results post online Tuesday). I don't know why I am still so uneasy about the whole thing. I could be invited to a second interview in Roseville, CA in a month, where I would really need to bring the razzle-dazzle. Or, the process could end right here for me.
...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
One of the questions in my interview was regarding my leadership or managerial experience. I had to honestly say that I have very little "official" experience. I frankly said that I have a couple of coworkers in my department to whom I feel like a big brother, and how I refuse to see them fail. These guys I respect and admire for the things they do and their dedication to their work.
In this world you will have to make your own way. To do that you must have friends. You can make friends by being honest and you can keep them by being steadfast
I know what I must do. Must keep moving forward. Cultivate more options. Be the best husband and dad I can be right now. If UP comes calling, I must not hesitate, cannot fail to try.
Can a nation organized and governed such as ours endure? That is the real question. Have we the nerve and the will?
